Sunday: October 20th, 2008

Here’s the audio from Sunday’s Discussion.  Hope this helps everyone keep up with where we are.

Andy

Sunday 10-20-2008

Consequences & Discipline

This past weekend was a great discussion for most of us at NETChurch.  We’ve been looking at a restructuring of sorts lately.  Not necessarily a structuring of the heirarchy of the church, but a re-imaging of what we are designed to be.  Now, if you are on the outside looking at this process it looks very strange, un-churchlike, and if you are engrained within the traditional thinking process of churches then it would seem to you that we are going off the deep end and away from God.  This could be further from the truth, though.  You see, we have been taking steps to get closer to God, to find His true purpose and reason for us as a spiritual community to exist.  Our group is launching (not just thinking, but really jumping) outside of the “box” and taking a new step in church life.  We are casting aside the ideas of “church” as we see it today, deconstructing our ideas, and purposely looking at Christ as Rabbi so that we can learn the lifestyle that He originally wanted us to pursue.  We are walking through these discussions right now and they are quite enlightening, almost invigorating in the way that they affect your everyday thinking.  That’s what I see as the most important thing.  I want to see what we do on Sunday’s truly become a catalyst for change the rest of our lives.

When you are in the middle of these discussion you never know what will happen or even what will be said.  NETChurch has resolved itself to the idea that God will work through those who speak once we get out of the way and let Him.  That seems to happen and I believe it to be true.  We were having a discussion this past week about Love and Discipline within the church.  Can the two coexist?  How far should a group go with discipline?  How much is our decision and how much is God’s?  On top of that, how do we know that we are doing the right thing?

As the conversation went on we were confronted with a series of statements made by one of our own, Brian Hampton, who had been thinking and struggling throughout the discussion.  I want you to hear the beauty in the words that he shared with us as he discovered some true insight into the scriptures in front of us.

Consequences  Click link or mouse over to listen

After listening to this I was really hit with the realities in front of us.  The idea that God has showed us all of this mercy/grace and that we are then called to share the same with those around us was one thing.  The idea that what I cultivate in my life is a direct correlation to how God responds or relates to us is another.  It takes things to a whole other level if you allow it to.

Here’s why:

Most of the time we think or have thought that God has done things simply because “God is God” and knows more or better than we do.  We’ve shunned the idea that how we act influences that relationship.  It’s always been that God loves us and will always do the best for us even if we are idiots, essentially seperating ourselves from any responsibility in the relationship.  If we do things good then God is proud.  If we don’t then He is hurt, but he still loves us so no prob.  With that thought we have found alot of different arguments come up from “once saved always saved” to “why should I worry about anything.  If God loves me that’s all that matters”.  Alot of us have then carried on our lives without thought to consequence simply because we knew that God loved us.  Done deal.  Don’t worry about it.

Then we start reading scripture in a new light and realize that the way we treat each other shows a direct relation to how we feel and respond to what God has done for us.  He has offered us such a tremendous outpouring of mercy, but then we ignore THAT gift and trash those around us because of our own need for power and security.  How then should God respond to us?  Am I saying that God will trash us if we trash each other?  No.  I’m not, but I’m not going completely the other way either.  I’m saying that we have a little more influence on what happens in our life than we give credit for.  God has given us this wonderful free will.  He’s allowed us to make choices.  What choices, then, affect our lives?

He has asked us to spread a message for Him.  A message of love.  But spreading it doesn’t actually happen in our words and sermons.  Those are cheap.  Anyone can buy them and throw them out.  Our actions, on the other hand, have weight.  They have strength.  They are tangible.  How do I know that?  If I speak loving but stab you in the back then my words mean nothing.  They meant nothing to me and they sure mean nothing to you.  What I do speaks volumes and I think we’ve lost that.  We talk more than we act.  Christ acted.  He loved.  He loved everyone.   Why is He worth following?  Because I don’t believe that you will ever find a more true and loving example of someone who actually DID what He was called to do.  He showed us, as we like to say, “The Way”.  Was he necessarily showing us how to get to a future place called Heaven or was he wanting us to start it here?  I’m thinking the latter was actually the most important to him.  Bringing a new heaven to earth begins with changing the way we live our lives WITH EACH OTHER.

Christianity is not a solo experiment.  It is only seen in it’s entirety when we interact with each other.  How we do that reflects completely on our relationship with God. 

As Ol’ Bill (and the Beatles) said in the comments on my last post “And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make. (or give)”.  Truer words have never been spoken.

May the mercy and grace you have recieved become evident immediately through your love for each other.  May that love come back to you a thousand times over that you may know the mercy and grace you live under.

A new home. A new look.

Welcome to the new home of my blog.  Sorry for the delay in writing.  That will change.

 Let the discussion begin!!

The Essentials

Here’s a way to see if anyone is reading or not! I was reading someone else’s blog recently and there were alot of questions about what things are absolute necessities to be considered a Christian. It’s a really interesting topic if you think about it. Alot of times we have placed things into this “Christianity Basket” that contains our requirements to be a part of the Jesus club. I’m curious about what people think on this topic. Is it church attendance, visible salvation experience, communion?

Now, I know that most people will say that it is believing in Jesus Christ as Lord, but then why are there always so many discussions about people’s faith or beliefs? Are there things that we don’t mention in the discussion of “necessity” but we really do consider them to be “foundations of the faith”?

Fulfill my intrigue and curiosity! What do you think?

Andy

“I’m Sorry You’re Succeeding!”

We’ve had an interesting time over the past couple of months. We had plans to do something new with the coffee shop, the connections with people over the internet are starting to happen, and it really seemed that we knew the direction we were heading as a ministry. Then, almost like a deer jumping out in front of your car (see:”The Evolution of the Deer” online somewhere…..) everything changes. The coffee shop no longer exists, we’ve moved the church into our house, and everything that we planned before is suddenly under speculation. It doesn’t take long for the world to flip upside down, does it?

Now, all of this doesn’t mean that things are bad. Things are really good, as I see it! The Net has made the transition to the new place and amazing things are already starting to happen. People are even saying that the discussion times now are better than they ever were before. People are still growing and God is working in the lives of those who allow him to. I see so many good things!

Then why do so many people keep giving me that “Oh, I’m sorry!!” look when they ask me about NETChurch???

I’ve had alot of conversations with people over the past month or so where they were asking me what we were going to do now that the coffee shop closed. I guess they were expecting me to say “Well, God has provided us this great building that used to be a KMart and everything worked out perfectly!” I’m pretty sure I know what their reaction would have been if that HAD been the case! But that’s not the reaction I get most of the time. When I tell them that we are re-evaluating and have moved things into our house I seem to be getting…………….I don’t know………………it’s like……………

Sympathy!!!

Now, I know that the usual church goes into a building as quickly as possible and sees growth as needing to move into a larger facility, but that’s not NETChurch. As soon as I say we are meeting at our home people tend to get this uncomfortable feeling and a look that they don’t know how to tell us that they feel sorry for us. No one seems to understand why a church would go this direction. They figure that there are only a couple of people coming if it’s at our house. (You would think that if they had come to our house they would understand that size isn’t an issue, but that still doesn’t change it.) Or maybe the feeling is that we’ve become one of those “weird house churches” that don’t want to conform. I don’t know for sure. It’s as if we were ok as long as we were “doing the coffee shop/church thing” but now we’ve stepped backwards and that eventually means that we’re dying.

Strange. The doctors didn’t inform me that we were on life support……………

All of this comes from a conflicted and very damaging idea that has run through the church for ages: Perception of what a “church” really is. People associate a building so closely with the church itself that if the building is not there then it must not really be a church. A church either has a big sanctuary, fellowship hall, and a steeple or it’s one of those cool, contemporary buildings with all the amenities of the mall. It’s all about location and possessions than it is people. If it HAS this and it HAS that then it must be a church. Don’t worry about what is being taught, just accept that if the appearance is right then everything is ok.

Ahhh, the dangerous perceptions of the consumer mentality……

There is a desperate need to change and rethink our whole idea of what “church” actually is. We had this discussion our first week at our house. “What is church, really?” I think this is something that we need to dig into more often in “the church” so that we don’t fall into the same traps over and over again. Hearts can totally be in the right place, but if we think that God really cares about the stain glass, steeples, coffee bars, children’s extravaganzas, or Christmas/Easter cantatas then we are most likely sadly mistaken. We do those things because they make us look “in place”, not out. We talk about changing and being cutting edge, but we usually just recycle what’s being done so that it doesn’t upset people. Holding on to bodies and not scaring them (or sometimes the opposite of scaring them INTO heaven) becomes more important than seeing them grow.

I almost here the cry “NETChurch is dead!! Long live NETChurch” rising up within some conversations. It’s not true, though. NETChurch is alive and well. Better than it ever has been. There are so many people here that need to be a part of the conversation and there are thousands upon thousands that are sitting out there on the internet that want to be a part of it. We just need to reach out and include them. Change is such an amazing thing. To some it is living. To others it is death. I always want to see it as living out loud!

Does the idea of “church” need to change? Definitely. We’ve all become too stringent in our ideas. We need to challenge our own ideas of what a church is, how it meets, what it is supposed to be. Through those conversations we can give up our own agendas and start to realize God’s. That’s what it’s all about.

Don’t be surprised if tomorrow it all looks totally different. I know I won’t:)

The End Of An Era

This weekend will be the last time that NETChurch meets at our home away from home, Expresso.Com. How do I explain the feelings that I have about this? Over the past two years I’ve seen Expresso and it’s owners, Robert and Katrina, as being God’s way of changing not only NETChurch but changing me. We had such rich plans about what NETChurch would become back in 2005. We knew what we were going to do, how we were going to do it, and what we wanted to look like.

Then one of my daughters had a birthday party at Expresso.Com.

They had only been open for about a week or so. It was a cool place. Great coffee. Lot’s of computers for internet access. It even had an XBox room. I sat there and thought out loud “This would be a great place to have church!” Little did I know that the owner was standing right behind me. All I heard was “Yes, it would”. The next thing I know we’ve made plans to start a worship gathering at Expresso.Com two weeks from that date. We never looked back. Neither did Robert and Katrina.

We were actually going to stay there for a short time and move out on September 11, 2005 so we could start a service in the community center. That changed. Somehow we felt that we needed to stay. Over the next couple of years we lost founding members, gained a whole lot of others, changed from preaching to discussion teaching, and eventually got to the point of streaming the discussion on Sunday mornings so that anyone could listen and even participate. We went from knowing what to do to asking new questions every day. We made friends with people that we never would have encountered in a church building or even meeting at home. We’ve worshipped, prayed, learned, struggled, fellowshipped, grown, cried, and pursued Christ all in the middle of a coffee shop with people walking in to get a jolt of java on a Sunday morning. People have been helped, needs have been met, and I’ve watched lives change right before my eyes.

Now the whole dynamic changes. We won’t go down to Expresso every Sunday to set up. I won’t be walking in and hanging out with “the guys” for a while before we open the trailer and get started for the day. We won’t even be known as “The Coffee Shop Church” anymore.

This weekend everything changes.

Will NETChurch change? Yes. I hope so. Change is good. It scares the living crud out of us, but it’s good. We’ll have to do things differently, look at ourselves differently, and……………………grow. I really imagine being Job right now when God said to him “We’re you there when I formed all existence in my bosum? Who are you to question the Lord?” Now is the time to trust God with all our hearts. Not because we’re about to suffer trials, but because it’s obvious that OUR plan is never as good as HIS plan. What NETChurch becomes will be beautiful, as long as we pursue God with all our hearts. We will still be connecting with people all over the world as we discuss. They will still be able to interact with our discussion. We’ll just do it in a different place. The place that God needs us to be in right now. This is a new season.

Robert, Katrina, and Family: Know that you are loved. You have given us more than we could ever ask for or imagine. You opened your doors up to us when most people would have questioned our motives. You turned a simple coffee shop into a gathering place for all who needed love. The impact of what you’ve done here will be felt and known of for years to come. Lives have been impacted, not by us, but by what God has done in your hearts. God bless you for your willingness to follow Him even when the rest of us we’re still trying to figure out what to do. We love you deeply as a community. We grieve with you and rejoice at what’s to come for you.

For me please know that Alison and I love you all more than we will ever be able to express. You are our friends. You have our hearts. We are there for you whatever comes. Our lives are different because you decided to listen to God. You are amazing.

When we close the doors on Sunday I ask you to do one thing: Breathe deep. Take Him in with everything you have. Let His amazing love fill you completely. Then go and be everything HE needs you to be.

Neutral Ground

The last blog started up a lot of discussion that roamed the countryside, so I thought I’d progress it here into a new space. It was interesting (as Stephen pointed out) that something that started with “not much to say” ended up with so many people joining in to talk. I guess that tells us all something about our own self observations: They are usually wrong.

(BTW: For anyone reading this outside of my “A Letter from the Revolution” blog I’m talking about all of the comments here, not on your respective sites. Sorry for the confusion.)

One of the things that has been brought up has to do with our move from the coffee shop that we’ve been meeting in for the past 2 years and where we are going now that the coffee shop is closing. We will soon start meeting in homes and looking to what God wants next from the “Island of Misfit Christians”. Going back to a home based ministry has advantages and disadvantages depending on your point of view. The homey, casual feel is wonderful, but you have to invite people to become a part of it simply because they don’t usually walk into your house unannounced. It has been much different at Expresso.Com. People walked in freely to get coffee, hang around, work on computers, whatever. A lot of the people that came over the past 2 years were there because they happened upon it while getting something to drink one day. It was the epitome of a “neutral ground” location. People were going to go there whether we met on Sunday or not. We were essentially meeting them where they were already gathering.

This creates a wonderful discussion: Where is the church at its most effective? For years we have taught that by building a large church building and inviting people into it we were establishing a “presence” in the community that could not be ignored. It was in some ways a huge billboard for Christ. (Have you ever driven through a town that had one of those billboards that just says “Jesus” on it and nothing else? Ever wonder what non-believers think when they see that? Here in South Texas some of the people are pronouncing it “Hay-Soos” and totally missing the point. Ah, but I digress……) I’m not totally sure that the big building is where our effectiveness lies anymore, though. People have changed. We don’t have the same concepts about church and religion that existed 50 – 60 years ago. Sure, the draw can be great because you have room for 5,000 people at a time, but if a community never expands in the number of people pursuing the journey towards Christ have we actually done anything? I’ve seen so many churches that built massive meeting spaces and talked about the tremendous growth that was happening, but did the COMMUNITY as a whole change with NEW people deciding to pursue Christ? In some situations maybe it did, but current statistics actually show that church growth is occurring more from church to church transfers and new Christian families moving into town than it is from reaching those that don’t know Christ right now and seeing them change their way of thinking.

An interesting thing about our buildings lately is that we are often building them stating that we need to create a space that the “unchurched” will come to because our old buildings are considered “off limits”. What we’ve created, though, is just a new version of the old church building where people are now seeing the big, contemporary structure and saying “So they traded a steeple for a coffee bar. So what!” Contemporary/ Seeker is the new Traditional just as Non-Denominational is the new denomination!

My question through all of this talk is “What is neutral ground?” Is it in homes? Is it back in a coffee shop? Can a church building actually become a space where non believers go simply to go, not because they were dragged by someone else? Along the way, though, is the question of what happens to the need for a “sacred space”? These are great questions that seem like they really need to be explored today.

The Natives Are Restless And So I Must Blog

I’m not sure whether it’s good to be wanted or not. I haven’t written anything in a while. I guess I could have written something. I’ve been busy, but then I’m always busy. I’ve been at the computer, but I spend my whole life there. Can’t use that as an excuse. No. Those reasons don’t fit this situation. It’s more like………

I’ve had nothing to say.

I know some of you out there are saying “So when has Andy NOT had something to say?” I tend to agree with you. Actually I think there might be a problem there. I find that I tend to give my opinion or throw out my thoughts even when I wasn’t really asked. It’s like I think that what I have to say is going to change what everyone else thinks or does. I have trouble sitting in a room and just listening. As a matter of fact I have trouble not taking charge in alot of situations. If there’s a blog that’s been written I find myself wanting to leave a comment. It’s as if I need someone to know that I was reading it.

Oh geez! I must be an attention hound! Why didnt’ someone tell me?

Actually they did. My wife, Alison, tells me all the time in her own quiet way. She’s the opposite of me. She’s behind the scenes doing whatever needs to be done. If she doesn’t input into a conversation it doesn’t bother her. She’s very content with who she is and the fact that other people don’t have to know her opinion.

Why aren’t I like that?

Why is it so important for me to tell others what I know or prove things that I’ve learned? Why do I say things as if I’m an authority all the way around? Give me a subject: I’m an authority! Am I that insecure that I can’t sit and listen to the conversation without becoming the center?

Hmmmm.

Yes. I am.

I’m insecure. I’m fallible. I have some pretty big flaws. I don’t feel like I’m worth nothing, but I let what I consider to be my inadequacies control things sometimes. I find some of my worth in being right. (It’s interesting how WRONG that is:) I like knowing deep down that what I have been a part of is successful in other people’s eyes. I’ve got some control issues, I guess. Do I like it when people question what I say? No. I don’t. It causes turmoil in me and I end up wanting to prove my point. It’s sad. Really sad.

Wow. People shouldn’t be like that, you know? It’s so wrong. Why can’t I just lay back and trust God like I’m supposed to? Don’t I trust Him? Don’t I know Him?

Yes. I do.

I’m a pastor…………………

A couple of years ago God asked me to leave the ministries where it was so easy for me to count my own successes. He asked me to walk away from so many of the things that even those of you reading this blog would consider “right”. I had to walk away from big congregations, huge pageantry, “exponential thinking”, teams of people who hung on my every word, and that drive to build a bigger church every week. I had to start over. Start from the beginning.

When I started out I was going the same way that I always had. Cool church and cool worship = more people saved. If I drew them then I would be able to do what God wanted me to do.

Oh crud. If “I” drew them then “I” could do it.

This isn’t about me, though, is it?

After a few months of starting a church we lost people because what we were doing didn’t fit them. Some of them didn’t understand what we were doing. Some were, honestly, offended. Some just needed something different. I didn’t want them to leave. How was I going to get anything done if they keep leaving??

Darn it. Why do “I” need to do anything?

This isn’t about me………………..

Today I’m a part of a movement. A group of people who come from all over. We meet in ways that eventually are designed to take the focus off of me (as much as we can). I don’t have to keep my finger in every pot. I’m learning that. My heart has changed. Do I still like being the center of attention. Yes. It’s something I battle daily. My insecurities have always been a part of me. But I’m definitely changing. It’s not about numbers anymore. Numbers make me too proud of what I’VE done. Now it’s about others. The individual. That’s what God wanted from me in the first place.

Why do I write this? Because you need to know the truth. I’m a pastor and I’ve got issues. I’ve got issues just like yours. I’m no better than you. I’m not greater than you. I’m not actually holier than most of you. Even the place that God has put me creates conflict in me sometimes. Not because of Him. Because of me.

We that are called to lead are human. We screw up. We hate it when we do. Sometimes we hide the fact that we did. We have pride. Sometimes we don’t like that pointed out. It puts a chink in our armor. We make bad decisions. Usually it’s because we used our own understanding and not God’s. We yell at our kids when we are frustrated. We treat our wives and husbands just like other couple’s do. We even get up on Sundays and think “I really don’t want to go to church today”.

If you put me on a pedestal I will fall. If you life me up too high I will let you down. I am not the answer to all of your problems. Christ is. God is. Not me. The truth is that deep down inside I’m probably a bit scared. This is alot of responsibility. Sometimes it goes to my head. Do I need to be knocked down a peg or two? Probably. The moment my image becomes more important thant he image of God somebody better slap me one. Do I need prayer and help? Yep. Just like you. I need fellowship. Real fellowship. People who I can be myself around. I’ve probably gone too long being what the church wants me to be. I need to just be a person who loves God and you along the way.

Pastors: It’s time to step back so God can shine. We need to take our faces off the billboards and stop building dynasties. This isn’t about physical growth. That stuff is about us. It’s about the smallest of the small, not the largest church in town. God is big enough to create some amazing things in really small boxes.

Congregations: Help us step back. We need to know when we’ve stepped over the line. You can only do that correctly, though, if you actually love us. If your heart is wrapped up in being in control then you’re no better than we are. Your reprimand is not what we need. Your understanding is. Love your pastor off the pedestal and back into the arms of God.

There. I’ve said something. Not because I just need to write something. Because I think it needs to be said. Maybe I should only do this when I have something to say.

Hmmm. There’s a pastoral thought.

A Story of Relational Ministry Part 2

I was raised in a pastor’s family. My father was was a Methodist minister for 49 years. (Why not 50? Still haven’t figured that one out.) It was a good life……and a frustrating one, at times. My dad is a wonderful, caring, well rounded guy. For me he was dad. He loved me, disciplined me, played with me, talked to me. I saw him different than everyone else did. To them he was “Pastor“. He was the man that stood in the pulpit preaching the Word of God to all who were there to hear. He was different than other people. He knew right from wrong. They saw him as “chosen by God” which often put him on a pedestal. (Which, BTW, was a place he never asked to be put) Because of this conflict our life was different.

I never really had any problem with it until the holidays. Every Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving we would sit down to dinner and inevitably there would be a knock on the door. We knew it was going to happen. Dad would get up to answer it and there would be someone looking for help. They needed 5 bucks for gas to get to the next town. They were traveling and the car broke down. They just needed a little bit to get by for a few days. As a kid I hated when someone knocked on the door that I didn’t know. But it wasn’t always for a handout. Sometimes there were those young guys in the white shirts and ties that would come by. They would come up and ask for my dad and always want to talk to him. They just wanted to talk. Every now and then they would give him some booklet or pamphlet that I never understood. I really didn’t know who they were. It was like they were with the FBI or Secret Service. They sure looked like it, except for the bicycle they were riding. The weird thing was my dad would often times talk to them and just have these nice long conversations. Really strange. I learned later that they were Mormons and that these guys were missionaries. Alot of my friends loved to have them come by because they wanted to debate with them. They believed that they needed to tell these young men about “the real Jesus Christ”, so all of the discussions became this big chess game to see who could come out on top in the end. They said that Christ would want us to tell these people the truth. They even kept their own tracts by the door so they would be ready and would take the Mormon literature out of the 7-eleven and throw it in the trash while no one was looking.

About 2 years ago my wife and I were in the front yard pulling weeds when two young men in white shirts came walking up to us. They knew who we were. Some of the people in the neighborhood had told them I was a pastor. They said they would love to talk to us sometime. They also said that if we ever needed any help around our house that they would love to give us a hand. I asked them why. They explained that they were missionaries and that was something that they do. They were nice kids. So we talked. It was good conversation. No one tried to convince me that I needed to change my beliefs. I didn’t do that to them. I told them they could come around any time if they wanted to talk.

A couple of weeks later they came back. I invited them in my house and we sat around in the kitchen and talked. They referred to themselves as “elders”. I told them that they were too young for me to call them elder, so I wanted to know their first names. With some hesitation I found out that one of them was Rico. I can’t remember the other one’s name. I told them to call me Andy. We had a real nice time talking about life, church, their families. We also made a pact that night. They could come around any time and talk to us, but we were not going to be a target for them to “convert”. Common decency then said that I would do the same with them. We would have a relationship. They agreed.

Every now and then they would come by, have a bottle of water, and talk. We laughed. They told me about the difficulties of the mission field. We really got to know each other. We would talk about God and church, but we left it open. They knew my beliefs. I knew theirs. One day they asked again if there was anything they could do to help us out. I thought about it and said “Sure. We have a church to set up every Sunday morning in the coffee shop. We could really use some help.” They thought about it and said they would. From that time on every Sunday morning these two Mormon missionaries would come at 8:30 in the morning in white shirt and tie to help this little church (that was actually Baptist at the time) get ready for worship. They met our people. They worked with them. They actually became part of our team in the morning.

As time went on we built this relationship. It was an unusual one, I’ll admit. At least it was by the standards of most churches. But one Tuesday night these guys showed up on my doorstep and asked if they could come in. After we went in the kitchen they told me that they had been through a really tough day. They had been out going to houses and had run into 4 or 5 different people that really attacked them for their beliefs. One of them, as a matter of fact, was a Baptist pastor. They were beat up (mentally). They needed a safe haven. They came to us. We sat around that night and they told me that they were being inundated with harsh questions about the Trinity and the Bible. These people were tearing them up for even being on the doorstep. Then they asked me what I believed about these things, so I shared with them my thoughts. After we got done talking one of them said that he wasn’t totally sure about his beliefs on some of these things. He said he needed to study more. I told him that was a good idea. He needed to know exactly what he truly believed. Don’t let anyone tell you what to believe. Ask God.

For the next year we had missionaries come and help our church. When one group left they would leave a note for the next ones telling them to come help us and that our house was a place of refuge. They told each other that if you ever end up in Portland, Texas you must go by and talk to Andy, that weird but cool pastor. He’ll really make you think. Every now and then a new missionary comes by to meet us with the same story.

It’s been a great relationship. I made a video for Rico’s wedding in Las Vegas this past year. He said he really wanted me to be a part of this wonderful day. I gave Clark (another missionary) some Superman videos to watch when he finally got home. He tells others to come and meet us. We gave a couch to some of the missionary girls because they didn’t have a place to sit in the little apartment they stayed in. They have brought others to meet us. All the time we’ve been ourselves and often talked about my Christ. Not because I had to. Because He is a part of my life.

My dad loves to play golf. He’ll go play a scramble any chance he gets. He once told me that he believed he had done more ministry on a golf course with a bunch of guys that were cussing, probably drinking, and hanging out than he’d done standing in his pulpit. He didn’t have to say much. He just lived it.

9 As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.
10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

12 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ [a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Matthew 9: 9-13

It’s all about the relationships, I think.

A Story of Relational Ministry

I’ve got some friends that are a part of doing things in a pretty cool way. Well, I find it cool. Some of you might not, but that’s ok. Even if you don’t, though, it makes you think about what reaching out to people really means. Before I explain it let me give you a bit of foundational background.

My ministry has always been in attractional/evangelistic churches. It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I started this change towards what I considered to be a more realistic route. (I’m not saying that any certain way of ministry is absolutely right or wrong. We all do things differently. I’m simply stating that I personally needed to pursue something new and a bit more connected with who I am.) When we started moving towards the concepts of ministry being more relational than attractional in nature I found it to be a much more difficult change than I expected. We went from established programs to an organic structure that didn’t have defined edges or outcomes. Even though I felt there was a way to reach out to people that was more personal and without the hidden agendas that had always been a part of my past (In other words “The reason that I’m talking to you is I’m working towards getting you to come to church”) the journey towards a new way of thinking has had pitfalls that either scared me, confused me, or I simply fought because I had never been down this road before. How do you show someone Christ without preaching at them or coming off as weird? (Come on. Admit it! We’re all just weird Christians deep down!)

Lately I’ve been looking around at the ministry and opportunities that God keeps laying in front of us. Since I still somewhat get the “program mindframe” thing going I have to stop at times to see what’s actually happened because I’ve missed a few rest stops along the way. I was thinking about a situation that I’ve watched for about a year and 1/2 that started with some of my friends and colleagues hanging around some people who didn’t want to have anything to do with church or Christians. They saw most of us as hypocrites and judgemental. In fact, I remember statements that they were making at the time where they said that “Real Christians would never come and hang out with us because it would make them look bad”. (That’s probably paraphrased, but you get the gist:)

My friends liked these people. They didn’t like them because they knew that they desperately needed Jesus and now my friends were the only ones that could save them. They didn’t want to be around them so that they could hand them tracts or preach. They wanted to a relationship. One where they could hang out without some hidden meaning or agenda. A real relationship where people got to know each other and hung out together.

Now these people liked movies. Not G rated only talk about God movies. Regular movieplex movies. Stuff that guys talk about and laugh about. Actually, so did my friends.

These people loved to go out to eat. Wings, pizza, find a Chili’s somewhere and hang out to talk and stuff yourself. Actually, so did my friends.

These people liked to sit down and have a beer with good conversation, relaxing and talking about all kinds fo things. Some of the things were really deep. Some were very shallow, funny, and stupid. Actually, so did my friends.

These people wanted to know that the people who hung out with them were real. They wanted to know that if they liked something or didn’t like something that they were consistant all the time. They wanted to know that when you were together that you would be the same on Sunday as you were on Friday. Actually, so did my friends.

Over this long period of time I watched this relationship grow. I watched these outsiders that never really wanted anything to do with “churchies” actually start to become alot more comfortable with the God that my friends pursue. The conversations grew from mildly confrontational to a gradual realization of common ground. Eventually over time lots of questions were asked and answered about God and beliefs that wouldn’t have come out if my friends were trying to preach at them instead of loving them.

Today as a pastor I have relationships with these people that many of us would have called “worldly”. I didn’t start the relationship. Someone else did. Someone else invested time and love so that today my life is different. They didn’t try to get them saved and wait for an altar call. They didn’t continually point out the things that were messed up in their lives or take every little sin that they have and show them that God doesn’t approve.

They loved them. They lived with them, ate with them, drank with them, laughed with them, fought with them, learned from them, and showed them compassion.

They loved them.

You might think that my friends needed to evangelize these people. You might think that they needed to be trying to get them into a church where they were going to get solid Bible teaching to fix their lives. You might say that my friends should never drink with them because it’s a terrible example or say that they should have given them “good Christian alternatives” from Family Christian Stores so they would see the evil of the movie industry. I tend to see things differently, though.

I see my friends being exactly who they are supposed to be to these people. They did the things that they normally do. They didn’t act churchy simply because someone told them to. They were (and still are) real. And because they are real they were able to meet these people on common ground. Suddenly Christians weren’t a stereotype. They were honest. And because of their honesty I now have new friends that talk to ME about the God I love and the Christ that gave His life for me.

Whether you agree or disagree I so see Christ hanging out with the tax collectors and understand why He did it.