The End Of An Era

This weekend will be the last time that NETChurch meets at our home away from home, Expresso.Com. How do I explain the feelings that I have about this? Over the past two years I’ve seen Expresso and it’s owners, Robert and Katrina, as being God’s way of changing not only NETChurch but changing me. We had such rich plans about what NETChurch would become back in 2005. We knew what we were going to do, how we were going to do it, and what we wanted to look like.

Then one of my daughters had a birthday party at Expresso.Com.

They had only been open for about a week or so. It was a cool place. Great coffee. Lot’s of computers for internet access. It even had an XBox room. I sat there and thought out loud “This would be a great place to have church!” Little did I know that the owner was standing right behind me. All I heard was “Yes, it would”. The next thing I know we’ve made plans to start a worship gathering at Expresso.Com two weeks from that date. We never looked back. Neither did Robert and Katrina.

We were actually going to stay there for a short time and move out on September 11, 2005 so we could start a service in the community center. That changed. Somehow we felt that we needed to stay. Over the next couple of years we lost founding members, gained a whole lot of others, changed from preaching to discussion teaching, and eventually got to the point of streaming the discussion on Sunday mornings so that anyone could listen and even participate. We went from knowing what to do to asking new questions every day. We made friends with people that we never would have encountered in a church building or even meeting at home. We’ve worshipped, prayed, learned, struggled, fellowshipped, grown, cried, and pursued Christ all in the middle of a coffee shop with people walking in to get a jolt of java on a Sunday morning. People have been helped, needs have been met, and I’ve watched lives change right before my eyes.

Now the whole dynamic changes. We won’t go down to Expresso every Sunday to set up. I won’t be walking in and hanging out with “the guys” for a while before we open the trailer and get started for the day. We won’t even be known as “The Coffee Shop Church” anymore.

This weekend everything changes.

Will NETChurch change? Yes. I hope so. Change is good. It scares the living crud out of us, but it’s good. We’ll have to do things differently, look at ourselves differently, and……………………grow. I really imagine being Job right now when God said to him “We’re you there when I formed all existence in my bosum? Who are you to question the Lord?” Now is the time to trust God with all our hearts. Not because we’re about to suffer trials, but because it’s obvious that OUR plan is never as good as HIS plan. What NETChurch becomes will be beautiful, as long as we pursue God with all our hearts. We will still be connecting with people all over the world as we discuss. They will still be able to interact with our discussion. We’ll just do it in a different place. The place that God needs us to be in right now. This is a new season.

Robert, Katrina, and Family: Know that you are loved. You have given us more than we could ever ask for or imagine. You opened your doors up to us when most people would have questioned our motives. You turned a simple coffee shop into a gathering place for all who needed love. The impact of what you’ve done here will be felt and known of for years to come. Lives have been impacted, not by us, but by what God has done in your hearts. God bless you for your willingness to follow Him even when the rest of us we’re still trying to figure out what to do. We love you deeply as a community. We grieve with you and rejoice at what’s to come for you.

For me please know that Alison and I love you all more than we will ever be able to express. You are our friends. You have our hearts. We are there for you whatever comes. Our lives are different because you decided to listen to God. You are amazing.

When we close the doors on Sunday I ask you to do one thing: Breathe deep. Take Him in with everything you have. Let His amazing love fill you completely. Then go and be everything HE needs you to be.

Neutral Ground

The last blog started up a lot of discussion that roamed the countryside, so I thought I’d progress it here into a new space. It was interesting (as Stephen pointed out) that something that started with “not much to say” ended up with so many people joining in to talk. I guess that tells us all something about our own self observations: They are usually wrong.

(BTW: For anyone reading this outside of my “A Letter from the Revolution” blog I’m talking about all of the comments here, not on your respective sites. Sorry for the confusion.)

One of the things that has been brought up has to do with our move from the coffee shop that we’ve been meeting in for the past 2 years and where we are going now that the coffee shop is closing. We will soon start meeting in homes and looking to what God wants next from the “Island of Misfit Christians”. Going back to a home based ministry has advantages and disadvantages depending on your point of view. The homey, casual feel is wonderful, but you have to invite people to become a part of it simply because they don’t usually walk into your house unannounced. It has been much different at Expresso.Com. People walked in freely to get coffee, hang around, work on computers, whatever. A lot of the people that came over the past 2 years were there because they happened upon it while getting something to drink one day. It was the epitome of a “neutral ground” location. People were going to go there whether we met on Sunday or not. We were essentially meeting them where they were already gathering.

This creates a wonderful discussion: Where is the church at its most effective? For years we have taught that by building a large church building and inviting people into it we were establishing a “presence” in the community that could not be ignored. It was in some ways a huge billboard for Christ. (Have you ever driven through a town that had one of those billboards that just says “Jesus” on it and nothing else? Ever wonder what non-believers think when they see that? Here in South Texas some of the people are pronouncing it “Hay-Soos” and totally missing the point. Ah, but I digress……) I’m not totally sure that the big building is where our effectiveness lies anymore, though. People have changed. We don’t have the same concepts about church and religion that existed 50 – 60 years ago. Sure, the draw can be great because you have room for 5,000 people at a time, but if a community never expands in the number of people pursuing the journey towards Christ have we actually done anything? I’ve seen so many churches that built massive meeting spaces and talked about the tremendous growth that was happening, but did the COMMUNITY as a whole change with NEW people deciding to pursue Christ? In some situations maybe it did, but current statistics actually show that church growth is occurring more from church to church transfers and new Christian families moving into town than it is from reaching those that don’t know Christ right now and seeing them change their way of thinking.

An interesting thing about our buildings lately is that we are often building them stating that we need to create a space that the “unchurched” will come to because our old buildings are considered “off limits”. What we’ve created, though, is just a new version of the old church building where people are now seeing the big, contemporary structure and saying “So they traded a steeple for a coffee bar. So what!” Contemporary/ Seeker is the new Traditional just as Non-Denominational is the new denomination!

My question through all of this talk is “What is neutral ground?” Is it in homes? Is it back in a coffee shop? Can a church building actually become a space where non believers go simply to go, not because they were dragged by someone else? Along the way, though, is the question of what happens to the need for a “sacred space”? These are great questions that seem like they really need to be explored today.

The Natives Are Restless And So I Must Blog

I’m not sure whether it’s good to be wanted or not. I haven’t written anything in a while. I guess I could have written something. I’ve been busy, but then I’m always busy. I’ve been at the computer, but I spend my whole life there. Can’t use that as an excuse. No. Those reasons don’t fit this situation. It’s more like………

I’ve had nothing to say.

I know some of you out there are saying “So when has Andy NOT had something to say?” I tend to agree with you. Actually I think there might be a problem there. I find that I tend to give my opinion or throw out my thoughts even when I wasn’t really asked. It’s like I think that what I have to say is going to change what everyone else thinks or does. I have trouble sitting in a room and just listening. As a matter of fact I have trouble not taking charge in alot of situations. If there’s a blog that’s been written I find myself wanting to leave a comment. It’s as if I need someone to know that I was reading it.

Oh geez! I must be an attention hound! Why didnt’ someone tell me?

Actually they did. My wife, Alison, tells me all the time in her own quiet way. She’s the opposite of me. She’s behind the scenes doing whatever needs to be done. If she doesn’t input into a conversation it doesn’t bother her. She’s very content with who she is and the fact that other people don’t have to know her opinion.

Why aren’t I like that?

Why is it so important for me to tell others what I know or prove things that I’ve learned? Why do I say things as if I’m an authority all the way around? Give me a subject: I’m an authority! Am I that insecure that I can’t sit and listen to the conversation without becoming the center?

Hmmmm.

Yes. I am.

I’m insecure. I’m fallible. I have some pretty big flaws. I don’t feel like I’m worth nothing, but I let what I consider to be my inadequacies control things sometimes. I find some of my worth in being right. (It’s interesting how WRONG that is:) I like knowing deep down that what I have been a part of is successful in other people’s eyes. I’ve got some control issues, I guess. Do I like it when people question what I say? No. I don’t. It causes turmoil in me and I end up wanting to prove my point. It’s sad. Really sad.

Wow. People shouldn’t be like that, you know? It’s so wrong. Why can’t I just lay back and trust God like I’m supposed to? Don’t I trust Him? Don’t I know Him?

Yes. I do.

I’m a pastor…………………

A couple of years ago God asked me to leave the ministries where it was so easy for me to count my own successes. He asked me to walk away from so many of the things that even those of you reading this blog would consider “right”. I had to walk away from big congregations, huge pageantry, “exponential thinking”, teams of people who hung on my every word, and that drive to build a bigger church every week. I had to start over. Start from the beginning.

When I started out I was going the same way that I always had. Cool church and cool worship = more people saved. If I drew them then I would be able to do what God wanted me to do.

Oh crud. If “I” drew them then “I” could do it.

This isn’t about me, though, is it?

After a few months of starting a church we lost people because what we were doing didn’t fit them. Some of them didn’t understand what we were doing. Some were, honestly, offended. Some just needed something different. I didn’t want them to leave. How was I going to get anything done if they keep leaving??

Darn it. Why do “I” need to do anything?

This isn’t about me………………..

Today I’m a part of a movement. A group of people who come from all over. We meet in ways that eventually are designed to take the focus off of me (as much as we can). I don’t have to keep my finger in every pot. I’m learning that. My heart has changed. Do I still like being the center of attention. Yes. It’s something I battle daily. My insecurities have always been a part of me. But I’m definitely changing. It’s not about numbers anymore. Numbers make me too proud of what I’VE done. Now it’s about others. The individual. That’s what God wanted from me in the first place.

Why do I write this? Because you need to know the truth. I’m a pastor and I’ve got issues. I’ve got issues just like yours. I’m no better than you. I’m not greater than you. I’m not actually holier than most of you. Even the place that God has put me creates conflict in me sometimes. Not because of Him. Because of me.

We that are called to lead are human. We screw up. We hate it when we do. Sometimes we hide the fact that we did. We have pride. Sometimes we don’t like that pointed out. It puts a chink in our armor. We make bad decisions. Usually it’s because we used our own understanding and not God’s. We yell at our kids when we are frustrated. We treat our wives and husbands just like other couple’s do. We even get up on Sundays and think “I really don’t want to go to church today”.

If you put me on a pedestal I will fall. If you life me up too high I will let you down. I am not the answer to all of your problems. Christ is. God is. Not me. The truth is that deep down inside I’m probably a bit scared. This is alot of responsibility. Sometimes it goes to my head. Do I need to be knocked down a peg or two? Probably. The moment my image becomes more important thant he image of God somebody better slap me one. Do I need prayer and help? Yep. Just like you. I need fellowship. Real fellowship. People who I can be myself around. I’ve probably gone too long being what the church wants me to be. I need to just be a person who loves God and you along the way.

Pastors: It’s time to step back so God can shine. We need to take our faces off the billboards and stop building dynasties. This isn’t about physical growth. That stuff is about us. It’s about the smallest of the small, not the largest church in town. God is big enough to create some amazing things in really small boxes.

Congregations: Help us step back. We need to know when we’ve stepped over the line. You can only do that correctly, though, if you actually love us. If your heart is wrapped up in being in control then you’re no better than we are. Your reprimand is not what we need. Your understanding is. Love your pastor off the pedestal and back into the arms of God.

There. I’ve said something. Not because I just need to write something. Because I think it needs to be said. Maybe I should only do this when I have something to say.

Hmmm. There’s a pastoral thought.