Solitaire and the Reasoning of God

I have this game that I play.  I really didn’t notice it until recently.  It’s that insignificant.  As a matter of fact it’s an extremely universal and mundane thing to do, by most "gamers" accounts.  I play Solitaire.  Computer Solitaire.  You know, the "I’m bundled with every computer for the past 20 years simply because I’m addictive and a simple program to create" Solitaire.  I know you’ve played it, too.  We all have.  As a matter of fact there are people in underprivileged countries far across the deep blue sea who don’t even have running water that have played computer Solitaire.  It’s just that average.

I know that this doesn’t constitute me as anything in the "gamer circles".  I just have it on my phone and usually play at least one game a day, if not more.  I don’t really have any other games on my phone.  I’m too cheap to spend the $3-6 that it costs to download something really cool.  Solitaire works fine.  I don’t have to use up any memory to run it.  If I lose a game, it’s not a big deal.  I can always start over because I haven’t invested 3 1/2 months getting to level 27 past the Orcs and Goblins so that I can gain a new life at the next checkpoint.  Nope.  I just think until I can’t think anymore.  Then I quit.  It’s my way of passing time when I’m bored.  It’s my friend when no one is around and I’ve got a few moments.  It’s my pacifier, I guess.

Recently, though, I figured out that it had become something else.  I’ve developed this habit over the years of bargaining with God to get answers.  It’s this "I’m going to do this and if it works out right then I’ll know you are answering my other, bigger questions".  Basically it’s a test of God.  I’ve actually found myself in the middle of a big human dilemma thinking "I’m going to play a game of Solitaire and if you’re agreeing with me, God, then I’ll win this game".  Pretty hokey, huh?  I’m actually going to try and get God to give me answers to my deepest questions by challenging him to a card game.  It’s pretty stupid.  I’ve never been really good at playing cards.  I have a basic bluff, but I overthink things and that eventually gives me away.  My dad tried to teach us how to play poker as kids, sitting around with matchsticks for currency, watching the local pastor sling out cards like a veteran blackjack dealer at a table in Vegas.  I don’t think I ever did very well.  I’m not even sure I ever won.  Half the time I’m not even sure I understood the game.

So here I am today with all of these decisions to be made that I don’t want to be responsible for and I turn to God and say "Tell you what:  You deal these cards.  If I win then we go the way that I’m thinking.  If I don’t then I guess it’s up to You, but I have no idea what you would even want".  I’ve become a God Hustler!  The crazy thing is that I start to show signs of gambling addiction.  If I lose the game, then I find myself playing another one with a basic "best two out of three" outcome expected!

I’m sure I’m not the only one that has ever done this.  It might not have been with Solitaire, but we’ve all tried to make deals with God, haven’t we?  It’s so hard to be human and fallible.  We don’t have all of the answers sitting in front of us so we try to find ways to buck the system.  We’re constantly searching for ways to peer into the future so that we can secure the road we’re traveling on.  The only problem is that this journey wouldn’t be of any interest to us if we knew what was up ahead.  We would become bored and blase about tomorrow’s events knowing that it wasn’t going to change and now we just have to live things out without any excitement or expectations.

We don’t need the answers, it seems.  If we had them we’d just screw up the system anyway.  I’m not so sure that God does or doesn’t answer our prayers as much as we have a tendency to not try to tune in to what God is doing in the first place.  Maybe the answers aren’t "Yes or No" as much as He’s listening to us and wondering where this question came from in the first place.  If we could start our requests in line with what God teaches us from the beginning then perhaps this whole "I’m not sure what God wants in this situation" thing wouldn’t exist.  We’re not missing answers.  We’re asking the wrong questions.

Today I played Solitaire.  It was a good game.  I had no expectations.  There were no odds makers involved.

I won.

Thoughts on a Tragedy

This week has had so many up and down emotions.  The shootings at Virginia Tech have captivated the news for the last few days.  We are seeing different aspects of this tragic event shown 24/7 on every channel.  It starts with the shootings themselves, then moves to the horror of the people who went through it, then remembering those who lost their lives, and so much coverage on this 23 years old student who decided that destroying his own life and taking others with him was a reasonable alternative to the life he was living.

My heart goes out to all of the families and victims involved in this horrific situation.  I cannot even begin to imagine what my response would be if I were in their shoes.  Considering the fact that we have one of our own children about to leave for college it really hits home.  Right now there are so many people hurting, in complete anguish because of the actions of one lonely, mixed up young man.  Last week he was all alone and unknown by everyone who walked by him.  Today we all know his name and thousands of people have had their lives turned completely upside down by 2 short moments of anger and destruction.

I don’t want to take anything away from the tragedy itself.  What happened is beyond imagination and truly shows the dark depths of the evil that can exist in the human heart, but at this time when everyone is looking at the victims and the wonderful lives that were ended here I can’t help but wonder if the picture of this man we know as "Cho" should be the image of a psychotic killer or are we looking at the end results of what our world has become?  I fully understand all of the news reports about his personal problems, mental instabilities, and how he seemed obsessed with death and darkness.  All of these things are definitely signs that he had the capability to follow through in the manner that he did.  I also hear all of the stories about his loneliness and how no body really knows him closely because no one ever was able to get that close.  This guy had absolutely no friends.  Everything that we know is coming from, basically, outsiders.  I haven’t heard one person come up and say "I spent alot of time with Cho and we hung out together".

Now, before anyone starts thinking that I am taking sides and being insensitive to those that were ultimately innocent victims of his rage please let me explain my thoughts.  I wasn’t there.  I wasn’t a part of this tragedy.  I can’t say how anyone should have handled it or if I would have done things differently.  I can speak about my own life and world I live in.  When I was talking to our youth last night about this whole situation I was struck with the fact that they said it’s not uncommon for people like this to be around school or that they see people like this all the time.  They walk past them in the halls or they pass them in the cafeteria and don’t really think that much about them.  These people are just loners and don’t fit in.  Most of us have the same thing in our own lives.  There are people out there that are "outsiders" and we leave them alone for that very reason.  It would take time and effort for us to involve them or engage their lives.

Here’s the question that came up in our discussion:  What would have happened if anyone would have been able to become a friend to this guy?  Would it have changed anything?  We’ll never know.  I know that people say that they tried to communicate with him, but he was cold and sterile.  Who knows.  Maybe he was unable to have a friend.  It just seems, though, that in this world where the loner is not simply an oddity, but is actually a part of everyday life I have to ask myself "What would happen if I really tried to reach out?".  Could a simple friendship with someone that believes themselves to be unlovable change the fate of so many lives?  On top of that, was this what Jesus was talking about when he spoke of "the least of these"?

We read last night in Matthew 18 how Jesus explained that only those who were like a child would enter the kingdom of heaven.  That analogy is amazing in a situation like we are talking about.  Children will usually befriend anyone that returns their advances.  They are innocent.  As it was put last night, they are ignorant.  They don’t know what we adults have learned.  They look at everyone as an equal.  It’s funny that our "knowledge" as we grow older causes us to not only be careful, but makes us willing to categorize people so that we only deal with those that we "know are safe".

Jesus looked at everyone through a child’s point of view.  He didn’t see social clicks or popularity or weirdos/cool people.  He saw people.  No matter how messed up, no matter how dirty they were he saw the person underneath.  I can’t help but wonder how He would have handled Cho or the many other destructive people that have created chaos in this amazing world we call home.  Would He have tried harder than we do to show love to this person?  Would His efforts have stopped the bloodshed.  I don’t actually know.  It could be that I’m being extremely idealistic.  I do know this, though.  There are people around me everyday that I don’t make the effort towards.  I need to try.  You need to try.  We need to reach out the hand of Christ to each of them.  It might not make a difference.  On the other hand, it might, and if it does then the world can be changed.

We live in a world where violence and destruction are a part of the everyday landscape.  We see it on TV, in movies, in video games.  We walk around saying that it’s not affecting us, but it is.  You can’t keep pumping this stuff into your system and not be affected by it.  Someone has to start pumping love back into this world.  It’s the only hope we have.  It might sound trivial.  It might sound idealistic.  It might even sound stupid and ludicrous……

But in the end I know that only rage and hurt can create this type of chaos.  Love doesn’t have that capability.

As you go through today take a moment to look around yourself.  Show love to this world.  If we all do it we can make a difference.  We can change things.  Without it none of this is worth living.

God bless you all at Virginia Tech.  Our hearts and prayers are with you.

Leaving Church

Gary Lamb at RidgeStone Church wrote this list on his blog and I was fascinated with it.  Thought I might share it with all of you.  It’s funny, I’ve been in the "church biz" for some 22 years and it amazes me that no matter how new or different your church is from everyone else that eventually your situations are all the same.  This list says alot about what people are like.  Sometimes it seems that at NETChurch we spend alot of time talking about how "institutional church needs to change", but there’s also the other side of the coin:  How people who GO to church could use some change themselves.

Enjoy the read.  He’s got some great insights here.  Hopefully you won’t find yourself as one of the people he’s describing.  I did and it really stinks!

People who leave your church….

One of the realities of church is that people leave. As a pastor I always take it personal even if I had nothing to do with their decision to leave. Even hard hearted pastors like me have a pastors heart and it sucks when people leave. That being said there are times when people NEED to leave and there are times when people are ASKED to leave. It is part of being a leader. I always find it funny that as pastors it is ALWAYS Gods will when people join our church but it is NEVER Gods will when people leave our church.

As people leave I often noticed that there are only a few ways people leave. I was thinking about this today and thought I would share it with you.

1. The David Copperfield - These are people that are there one day and gone the next. They simply disappear. No email, no phone call, no dear John letter, they simply just leave. I have never understood these people. I don’t understand how you can pour your life into a church by serving, giving, and supporting then simply disappear but this is a pretty common thing sadly.
2. The Phone Caller - This person has been around for YEARS! This is the person who can’t simply leave. They have to call everyone they know in the church and tell them WHY they are leaving even before they talk to you. They feel their ministry is the phone ministry and they simply “wanted to let people know I was leaving.” Hey, if all your problems with the church happen to get brought up that is just life and truth be told, it is exactly what they wanted.
3. The Fighter – This person ain’t leaving without a fight. They have invested in the church and really believe they should stay and you should leave even though you started the church and are the pastor.
4. “People have been coming to me” person -You know this person! They are the one that set up a meeting with you and tell you, “Pastor, people have been coming to me…” When you ask who, they don’t want to “betray the trust of that person.” These people don’t leave normally so when they use that line and won’t tell you who, just ask them to leave. Truth is no one is coming to them, they just don’t have the guts to tell you what they are feeling.
5. “Things have changed” person - This is the person that basically is saying that everything is ALL about them. When the church was 100 people you got to eat with them, shake their hand in the lobby every week, and take their personal phone calls EVERY time they call. Now that you are a bigger you have more people and things HAVE changed but they have changed because you are reaching more people and that is a good thing. It isn’t a good thing to these people because they don’t care about reaching people, they just care that they get your attention all the time.
6. The deeper lifer – “Pastor, we want to get deeper.” “Pastor, we aren’t getting fed.” This is the person who wants to break down scripture all day long, yet they can’t get simple things like their marriage, investing in the lives of unchurched people, serving, and giving right. They want to go deeper but they can’t do the basics of the Christian faith. They don’t want to go deeper they just don’t want anything practical because they are afraid it might convict them and they might have to do something.
7. The right way – Sadly I don’t see this way very often. People leave churches. God calls people to churches and he moves people from churches. That is okay. This person comes into your office and explains why they are leaving, how they will continue to pray for you, and still consider you a brother in Christ. I had some oen do this last Monday.  They left the right way and it was refreshing.  I hated to lose them but that is part of being a pastor.  This is the right way to leave a church but few do it. That is sad.

BTW, if you want to check out some of his other blogs you can see them at www.garylamb.org.  Have a great day!!!